no carcinogens for us!

A group of top scientists reported today that they had achieved a break through in the pursuit of genetically modified foods which will enable them to remove various natural carcinogens from fruits & vegetables.

This sparked immediate protests from activists fighting for restrictions on the genetic modification of food. They quickly issued a press release:

We at the Green Thumb & Grocer Association of America believe that the genetic modification of our food supply is wrong in all instances. We should not be tampering with our food supply. Today it might be the removal of carcinogens, tomorrow it might be the removal of pulp from oranges. We just cannot allow this slippery slope of genetic hocus-pocus to continue.

We believe that for the safety of our children and our species, we must return to a simpler diet and a simpler world. We advocate the removal of all unnatural strains of plants and animals. For centuries, man survived on a diet of locally available berries and plants. We believe that if people spent more of their day foraging for food, this would be a much better world.

In our continuing educational efforts, we have made available on our website various recipes for acorn mash and mulberry stew.

Reports indicate that this return to natual food movement is really catching on among the 0-4 age group who prefer all-natural fruit & vegetable puree to the genetically modified "liquid meat" that scientists have been experimenting on recently.