aren't these merely excuses?

No.

You want excuses? You can't handle my excuses!

I'll give you excuses... you just wait. You're gonna regret you ever asked me to!

When I get finished with my excuses you're going to be crying. You're not going to be able to hear another excuse again without thinking how lame it was.

No, don't try to give me any excuses about how you didn't mean it. You did. And there's no backing out of it. I am going to give you more excuses then you'll know what to do it. It'll hurt to sit down, you'll be wondering if I am gonna pop out from behind you and give you some more.

So just don't get me started!

I mean it, watch out!

Wait a second, I gotta go, I am late for an appointment. Really, my dog is at the vet's, seems he's allergic to my homework.