i still love her

Wow.

You do?

Why didn't you tell her?

She just left here in tears.

She said she thought you hated here. She couldn't stand it anymore. She started to cry.

Where did she go? Well, she did mention something about getting a nose jobs, breast implants and running off to Vegas to be a showgirl, but to be honest, I don't really know. She could be anywhere.

Are you calling me cold and callous? I object! Yes, I might be a bastard, and a pretty mean & dastardly one at that, but to call me cold and callous, well....

Wait, I thought you meant cold and clammy. I am NOT clammy. I have never been clammy. Wait, except for that time in Public Speaking when I had to give that speech about how Always Maxi Pads have wings. Wait, I mean, how Pegasus, the horse from Greek mythology had wings. And that horse from the Mobil logo.

Anyways. Perhaps you can catch up to her if you start right now.

What? You have to return that movie? Well, I could do that for you. Would be a shame if you lost her just so that Blockbuster didn't hunt you down like the delinquent movie-renter that you are.

Sure, just give it to me.

Go! Go after her!

Ah, I hope he catches up to her. I'd hate to see her breasts get all hard and lumpy.

What's this? He rented what? No, that's not like him!

A 24 year old man in the prime of his life, and what movies does he go and rent? On Golden Pond! No wonder she left him. I don't blame her. Good riddens!

No wait, that's my video. What's this? Debbie Does an IPO? Wow, I gotta see that one!