last of the mohicans

I originally read that as "Last of the Mocassins." Perhaps that was a more fitting collection of 4 words for this site, as I can't honestly say our literacy level is quite that high on this site. You forget I am illiterate. Or didn't you read that? I think I wrote it, but I can't obviously be sure.

So it was with much pain and anguish that I sat down with the paperback version of The Last of the Mohicans in order to research this piece. I bet you thought I just made these up off the top of my head. But I don't. Each takes hours of painstaking research, multiple drafts, a review committee to select the most appropriate entry and of course a proof-reader to make sure I only make the acceptable threshold of grammatical and spelling mistakes.

With that all said, it took me 4 hours to read the first page of that book. I finally realized it must have been a bunch of graffitti or a note to a previous owner of the book, as it talked about some raunchy sex acts. And it was in blue ballpoint pen, but it took me going back to the library to find another copy to realize that books are in fact not handwritten in blue ballpoint pen, but rather printed.

I guess it's true what they say: "You learn something new everyday." Or in my case, I learn a couple of things every couple of days. Because some days I just can't bear to learn anything.

Anyways, with a fresh copy in my hands (the librarian assured me the author had just finished this copy) I started to read again. I was very impressed by the prose, how he wrote about the copyright laws in various countries. Very poignant. Stunning literature.

Let's just say I was bored at that point. And if I could read, I would have gotten the Cliff Notes version. But I can't and I didn't. I'll just use my poetic license and make believe that I did.

So anyways, where was I? Oh yeah. So, I went to Target the other day and just happened to find the last of the mocassins. Size 12. Black with green stitching. Beautiful. Love them. Sorry you can't have any.