please touch me, borris

Helga, the last time I touched you, you screamed. I don't think I am going through that again.

No, I don't want to pet your monkey either.

Why do you insist on begging me to touch you? Do you think I enjoy it? I mean, I can tell you at least a half dozen college football games I'd rather be watching than touching you now.

No, halftime was not made for giving me a chance to touch you. It was made for peeing. You know how hard I work at drinking during the game.

Why do you always think that my lack of interest in touching you reflects some major problem with our relationship? I know countless men who are happily married and never touch their wives. Hell, I can point to several couples who have seperate bedrooms. Who cares if I'm just talking about shows on Nick at Nite. I am sure it's the same way on the networks.

No, don't even think about storming out of here in a big huff and puff. You gotta save those for when I do something wrong, like sleep with your sister. I mean, when that happens, what are you going to do? Lighten up.

A divorce? Have you been watching Perry Mason again? I don't know if I live you hanging around with your friends. They're putting thoughts in your mind I don't approve of.

No, I will not let you go stay with you mother, you know I don't like her!

Wait, you come back here right now!

If you don't come back and heat up my burritos, you're not going to come with me to bowling on wednesday!