kiss me, you fool!

Not here, someone may see us!

Why don't we just wait until we're both invited to some wedding, wait, it's gotta be yours, and then I can come and kiss you and congratulate you on getting married, and no one will suspect anything. They'll think it's a harmless congratulatory kiss.

But wait, then you'd be married. That wouldn't work. Who would marry you?

No, I didn't mean that! Really, it was a joke. A bad one.

Come on, don't be mad with me. Just because I am hesitant to kiss you in broad daylight where someone might see us and then go and tell on us. No, don't be mad at me for that.

Yes, okay, you can be mad at me for sending that fake love note to my friend Chris. I know's he's been calling you day and night. No, I didn't mean for him to think that, I just thought, you know, if you were dating him then no one would think anything of us spending time together. They'd just think "oh, she's spending time with her boyfriend's best friend."

Well, no, I didn't think of that. No, I am not sure how easily people would believe a best friend gets to see a friend's girlfriend in her underwear. Hell, I don't even know how to say that properly, let alone know what the neighbors will think.

I think we're in over our heads here. I mean, all we wanted to do was have a little tryst and well, it's gotten completely out of hand. I think you went over the line when you applied for that joint Swiss bank account. Don't you think people are gonna start talking about that one?

If we had just left it at "Hello, my name is Matte. Have we met?" things would have been so much easier.

Wait, what did you say? Can I take your order?