you are still irreplaceable

I still get confused by this... and be sure to tell me if you get confused to.. is irreplaceable "able to be replaced" like inflammable is "able to be torched in a fiery ball of pain and disfigurement"? Or did I get that wrong too? As you can see, I am not so sure about anything anymore. I couldn't even tell you what I had for breakfast (wait, nothing.)

But if in fact they meant "I cannot be replaced" did they mean it as I mean too much to them or simply that they don't make the parts anymore? Or maybe the government has banned further production of anyone remotely similar to me? Perhaps they realized I was partially composed of genetically altered material. Yeah, my hands used to be Guavas until a group of scientists figured out how to insert genes from a rare pygmy goat and a little bit of iguana DNA in order to form these fully functioning hands I have.

Well, they aren't always functioning. Sometimes I find it completely impossible to scratch my own butt. Sure, they give me no problem scratching the butts of others, but when it comes to my own, they act as if they have jungle rot and just won't do a darn thing.

But wait, if they mean "I cannot be replaced" what about the "still"? Was I at some point replaceable? Was there this easy-alternative for some period of time and now it's just no longer available? Now that the Russians shut down that slave factory where they turned out cheap imitations, you're forced to return to the real thing, despite the high prices and the long lines?

I can't help the long lines. I mean, I even put a 3 item limit into affect, and they still line up for miles. But as for the high prices... since this site is free, how do you expect me to believe price was an issue? Oh wait, you mean they were like a dot.com startup? They paid you? What's the logic behind that? I mean, I can see building a solid public, high-tech company around giving things away for free, but giving them money along with it? Geez, what are they thinking.

Anyways, my lawyers have told me I can't say anything more about this. We're in the SEC-imposed quiet period. I can't tell you anything that may reflect the pricing of my IPO.