yep. that's my boy.

Yeah, that's the one. A chip off the old block, don't you think? I taught him everything he knows (and them some). He's my pride and sometimes my joy. He's more than just a warm body to get me into the carpool lane, he's my son and I won't have you saying anything bad against him.

But I guess that's what I am here for, right? You wouldn't have called me into your office Mr. Principal if it wasn't for something bad, right? I mean, it's not like I wasn't supposed to be in confinement out at Cape Canaveral awaiting launch. So it has to be something important. Not to say that the space program isn't important anymore, I mean, just because people would rather pay for the exploration of their local mall for the best deals on khakis doesn't mean that they don't want this shuttle mission to launch.

Not to say you had anything to do with NASA's budget cuts, though we're all pretty confident that someone from this school was responsible for the errors in the construction and programming of the Mars space probe. We're not gonna let that get by, so just beware, we'll be back.

And no, I didn't mean to presume that this meeting was over, I know you haven't gotten to why you called me here today. Actually, you called the switchboard, they then called the launch assistant manager who then got in contact with the Associate Vice President of Matters of Spacial Concern who then figured out how to forward the call to my extension.

But what could my son have done, I mean, I don't let him do much of anything at home, so why would you let him do anything here? I mean, if the closet was good enough for his old man growing up, then what's wrong with it for a boy who can't even name all the major constellations! I mean, I take him out in the backyard every night and drill him on them, but he still never gets it. I was five by the time I learned them all, and then I moved on to lesser known constellations like Orion's Butt Crack and the Bear Who Ate Goldilocks' Porridge.

So what could it possibly be this time? I know it was some silly thing about burning things last time. I can't help it if the Boy Scouts are teaching my kid to start fires. They also teach him how to tie knots, but he hasn't done anything wrong with that has he?

Oh right, I forgot about that. I do hope Ms. Berducci is feeling better. No, I never experienced being lashed to the flag pole for an entire day.

But I mean, geez, that was ages ago, you're not gonna hold that against the boy?

Oh yeah, I forgot about those permanent records.

Hey, where did you hear about that? You don't have a record on me too! Oh crap!

Yes, I am sorry. I guess I never did learn. I did get expelled for saying crap, but that was almost 20 years ago, am I ever gonna live that down?

You're right, we're not here to talk about me, we are here to talk about the boy. Now what were you gonna tell me?

Really, Valedictorian? But he's only in the fourth grade!

Oh, it was a joke. No, I didn't sense the sarcasm.